All nerded out..

Went to this yesterday: www.londonexpo.com

Got all the stuff I wanted signed which was good:
- some comics by American superstar artist Adam Hughes (he's best known as a "cheesecake" artist - go to www.justsayah.com to check out his stuff)
- 4 "Hitman" comics starring Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner, of course) by artist John McCrea
- some comics by legendary artist Brian Bolland, including the new massive "Art of Brian Bolland" which is a great autobiography his life and work over the last 30 years. Mr Bolland is very quiet and polite, but took an exceptionally (and frustrating) long time to sign people's comics/books etc, and when people were asking him for a quick sketch, he was far from quick. I eventually had to give up queuing and come back later in the afternoon, as I had to go to the "Hot Fuzz" presentation!
- What is "Hot Fuzz" you ask? No, it's not a rude after effect of having a hot curry, it's a new movie (http://www.jointhefuzz.com/hotfuzz/index.html) by the guys who did "Shaun of the Dead", and they did a special presentation at the con, as well as a signing which was a bit of mad stampede, and I had to keep some rude German guy and his mother (who brings their mother to a nerd convetion??) from pushing in front of me in the queue! Nien! Anyway, I got a "Hot Fuzz" promo flyer and a "Shaun of the Dead" graphic novel signed by Simon Pegg and Nick Frost. Last year we watched SOTD at Xmas, and it was a hoot, and recently I've watched both series of "Spaced" which was very clever too, so I'm pretty sure this movie will be pretty funny too.

The con itself was quite a spectacle, with video games, stands selling all manner of bizarre stuff (including Japanese potato snacks), people playing card games, dancing on those stpid dance machines and down the back there was even a robot wars style set-up! (The robots weren't doing any serious battling though, just playing football, which was excting for like 30 seconds.) The one thing that really stood out, is the strong influence of Japanese animation and comics on the kids/teens that attended. A lot of them dressed up as obscure characters that I had no idea who or what they were meant to be, and if I was the parents of some of those teenage girls there, I would be a little concerned with what they were wearing, or the lack of what they were wearing!

However, after being there from 10.30am till about 4.30pm, and enduring the nerds and queues, I'm getting a bit fed up with these signings and conventions. I guess going to these things by yourself makes them a bit dull, but at the same time I don't think I would want to drag an unwitting participant along (like my wife), as there really isn't that much to do there except spend money on more crap and stand in queues. I do have a nice growing collection of signed comics/books though, which I guess is one consolation. I think I need to spend more time doing my own comic instead of standing in queues...

Throw me a frickin' Bone!

In the early 90's, there was a comic called "Bone", a little black and white comic that had some very cartoony-looking characters in it, and that was about all I knew, and all I cared to know. You see, the 90's was a time of big flashy comics - the X-Men were re-designed by Jim Lee, Superman was being killed, comics came with gold-foil holo-prism covers and sealed in polybags so you couldn't actually read them, but you bought multiple copies anyway hoping that they would be worth bags of cash in a few years time. My comic-reading friend, let's call him "Mr Thor", used to joke with me that Bone was a really lame comic, and I would agree.

Anyway, Jeff Smith, the artist/writer/creator of Bone plugged away with his Bone comics, and 15 years later he's created a massive Lord of the Rings style story which is now collected in a massive phone book thick collected edition. Now that I am a bit older and wiser and keen to expand my reading range, I picked up this "One Volume" edition after reading all the good reviews it had received. I started reading it one night and managed to get through half of it, and then continued again then next morning to finish it off, as it was compelling reading! I don't think I'll try and explain it, as I probably won't do it justice, but as I mentioned before, it does have similarities to Lord of the Rings, which some people may think is a bit of a rip-off, but you don't really notice this whilst reading it, as you get absorbed into the world he has created. If you're interested in finding out more you can check out his website here:

http://www.boneville.com/

Also, another reason why I decided to give Bone a go, is that Jeff Smith is doing a World Tour and would be visiting Forbidden Planet ( www.forbiddenplanet.com ) to do a signing, so now I have a nice signed edition! And, if you're reading this "Mr Thor", I recommend you go and buy a copy, you might just enjoy it too!

More stuff about fireworks

Before I go to work, I usually watch BBC 1 news, mainly to check if any travel disruptions and get the weather report (which they get wrong 50% of the time). However, being a man, I like to flick TV channels, and sometimes it lands on the pure dross that is ITV's morning show. If BBC news is like the Times/Guardian, then ITV morning show is like the Sun/Mirror. Pure drivvle for dumbies. Anyway, as I flicked over, they were doing a piece on fireworks sending dogs loopy, and that some people are getting sedatives from vets to dope their dogs up. They showed a family that has two dogs - the big one didn't give a toss about the fireworks, but the little one went bananas at the sound. This got me thinking about our tiny wee rabbit, and how he doesn't give a monkeys about the fireworks banging and whizzing outside, as he just sits in his poo box munching on some hay, but walk into the room suddenly/quickly/loudly and he'll go flying out scattering poopsies all over the place, ears up and will stamp his foot! However, a quick trip to the fridge to give him a piece of greens/broccolli/carrot/kale/apple will instantly change his mood from startled rabbit to Bushel the pig-rabbit. Oink!

Croydon war zone

It's getting close to the 5th of November, which is Guy Fawkes night in the UK. This means that for two weeks before and after that date, all the mad loons in the South East of London (and the rest of the UK, but I can't see the rest of the UK from our window) go an spend shed loads of cash on fireworks and set them off all through the night, even if it's raining. Now, we have a great view from our window, and I like to watch fireworks as much as the next person, but it does get a bit much, especially after 11pm. Call me a grumpy old party pooper, but I do agree that the letting off of fireworks should be limited to one night, and that you need to be over 18/buy a licence to do so. Where's Judge Dredd dealing out harsh justice when you need him??

Another week, another signing

This week it was Dan Abnett, a writer of comics and books:

www.danabnett.com

I've met him before, as he did a signing earlier in the year to promote his Warhammer books (I don't "get" Warhammer - weird little things you paint and then roll dice or something), and he's a nice guy, as he takes the time to chat, personalise your book/comic etc. At that time I didn't realise that he was also the writer of "Death's Head II", a legendary comic that sold millions in the early 90's which I bought during my gap year in the UK (well, actually it was a gap 6 months, but I used to have day trips to London to stock up on comics). I managed to track down some old issues off eBay (as the vast majority of my comic collection resides in Australia), got them signed by the artist Liam Sharp at the comic convention in Bristol in May, and they're now also signed by Dan on the weekend! I've also had the original Death's Head comics (Death's Head I who appeared in the UK Transformers comic) signed by Simon Furman, Geoff Senior and Lee Sullivan. Now I just need to track down Bryan Hitch to sign them! Is this re-living my childhood/teens some sort of early mid-life crisis???

Want to taste Lorina?

www.lorina.com

Hello Darkness my old friend

Nothing interesting happening at the mo, but the dark English winter has arrived. It is dark when I wake up at 6.30am, and is now almost completely dark when I get home at 6.30pm. Haven't had to switch on the heating yet though, but I'm sure that'll happen soon...

Sticky...

This is the best sticky toffee pudding ever:

http://www.stickytoffeepudding.co.uk/

The holy grail of comic signings, that bearded weirdy himself, Alan Moore!

Last night at the Institute of Contemporary Arts, near my old stomping grounds of Russell Square, Alan Moore and his partner Melinda Gebbie were doing a talk on their new work, Lost Girls. Lost Girls is a pornographic comic which took 17 years to complete, and is a tale of Wendy (Peter Pan), Alice (Wonderland) and Dorothy (Oz) meeting up in an Austrian hotel before WW1 and having sex with each other, as you do (it's best to Google it if you want to learn more - it is actually an amazing work of art, honest!).
However, as Great Ormond Street Hospital still own the rights to Peter Pan, they haven't actually been able to release the book in the UK, so the talk was on a book to an audience that hadn't had the chace to read! However, most people there knew of it, and Alan Moore himself is a fascinating individual, so it was a good evening. He and Melinda did a signing afterwards, and a few rabid nerds left the auditorium before the talk had even finished so they could get a prime spot in the signing queue! How rude! I at least stayed to the end and clapped and then rushed to the queue!
I initially wasn't sure if there was going to be a signing at all, so I'd only brought a hardback edition of League of Extraordinary Gentlemen Volume 2 along on the off chance (which was already signed by the artist Kevin O'Neill). He was only signing two items per customer anyway, but by jingo by crikey did he take a long time to sign those two things per customer! If it wasn't anyone other than comic-god Alan Moore (Watchman, From Hell, LOETG etc etc), I wouldn't have bothered, as I was tired and just wanted to get home! However, he was actually taking the time to chat with the nerds, I mean fans, which was great, considering that he rarely does signings anymore. I've read online (which makes me doubt whether it's true or not) that at a convention he was followed into the toilet by a nerd to get a comic signed, that put him off going to conventions anymore! I've read that he doesn't like being a "celebrity", is a bit of a recluse, he doesn't have a passport and has never left the UK. He still lives in his home hometown of Northhampton, which from all accounts is a bit of a shithole (excuse my French), but when you are a six-foot magician who worships the Roman snake-god Glycon, wear lots of silver rings on each hands, and have an impressive beard and head of hair that you usually see on a tramp, I guess he probably doesn't want to travel to far from home anyway.
Anyway, he was actually a really nice guy (and was dressed in a suit and tie and had his mane pulled back into a pony tail), and he signed my book to me, and I told him how I was shocked that he'd turned Rupert the Bear into a crazed beast created by Doctor Moreau that has sex with gypsies (just go and read the book!), and he said it was just something that just had to be done. I also got him to sign the ticket for the event, which his equally as nice partner Melinda signed as well, so I can put that in the book of Lost Girls when it is released in the UK in 2008 (this is when the ownership rights to Peter Pan/Wendy expire, so a special UK edition will be released).
After this event, and also the few others I've been too recently, I'm a bit "signed" out. It's just so boring standing in a queue, and especially painful when you have to listen to over excited nerds in the queue, who are usually American students who speak in that loud and annoyning accent that makes you want to punch them in them in the head. Serenity now, serenity now...
Am I nerd? I guess so, but it's these uber-nerds that make me embarrassed/ashamed to be a nerd. Looking at some of the people in the audience, man was I embarrassed. The unwashed students, the goths/punks, the terminally obese, the men too old to have long hair, the men too young to be bald, the fashion-challenged...is this the world to which I belong? Sigh, I hope not. Anyway, I got on the bus and got home about 11pm to my wife who made me laugh by saying she'd spilt chocolate sauce on the floor and that the bunny had tried licking it! I hope chocolate sauce isn't fatal for rabbits...

Cloudy

While walking to the train station this morning at 7.45am, I noticed that the London sky was already criss-crossed with vapour trails from airplanes, and totally outnumbered the few normal clouds in the sky. This is a stark contrast to the Canberra sky I grew up on which had maybe one or two trails a day. With all these planes adding to global warming, London will be under water in a few years anyway...

Met Michael Palin today

Went to Hatchards bookshop at Piccadilly today to go to a signing by Michael Palin. Apparently he's been keeping a diary since the sixties, and is now going to rack in the cash by publishing them! There are going to be 3 books in total, the first one is 1969-1979, and it looks like quite a long read! I hadn't been to a signing at Hatchards before, and while it is a nice bookshop, it isn't really well equipped for a signing with large amounts of people turning up. I turned up about 10.30am for a 12.30pm signing (I usually allow 2 hours queuing for a big name i.e. movie star, 1 hour for a medium name i.e. big name comic star, and half an hour for a lesser name i.e. lesser known comic writer), but there was no queue! OK, I'll go away and come back, so I walked along Regent Street, looked at some shops, was astounded at how much of a rip off Virgin Records is for buying DVDs, came back at 11am and still no queue! Weird, so I went in bought my copy of the book and asked if I could start queuing and they said yes, that's fine, just stand anywhere! It was then that a few weirdoes (fellow weirdoes?) appeared from behind book stacks and scuttled along to form a queue. Even though I was there first, I was third in the queue, which was OK, as I had to get back to work, as I'd only taken the morning off work!
The guy first in line was a serial signer, one of those guys that buys multiple copies of books to get signed, sells them, and then goes to the next signing. He was very eager to discuss previous signings and signing etiquette to this poor Canadian tourist that was second in line. Fourth in line was a very quiet nerd who looked like he should have been at the train station spotting trains, and fifth in line was a rather large girl who had three copies of the book to sign! I just put my head down and started reading my book, Vicious Circle by Mike Carey, who had coincidentally signed it last week. I'm not a serial signer, really! I'm a fan! After an hour and a half, Mr Palin finally emerged, looking quite old now, and very polite too (the last of a dying breed of English gentlemen, now being replaced by chavs and equally dim D-list celebrities), but I think he was daunted by the amount of people that had now formed the queue, and just wanted to get as many books signed as possible. I was polite and said how I'd grown up watching Monty Python and that I liked the film Time Bandits (as I got him to sign the screenplay book - which coincidentally Terry Gilliam had signed a few weeks earlier), and then it was over, and I was thrust out into the downpour that had erupted on the London streets whilst I was nestled amongst the books and body odour of nerds.
P.S. Interesting thought, prompted by a letter from my mother and Mr Palin's diaries, is that if people like myself are now using emails instead of letters and blogs instead of diaries, how will future generations know what we (we the common people) got up to without access to hard copy diaries or letters? I seriously doubt this blog or my emails are going to be floating around the internet in 100 years time!

Mud-Man!

When the Missus came back from NZ, she brought me a mud face pack, made from "Natural New Zealand Rotorua Thermal Mud". Interesting choice of gifts, but U2J is never shy to try different and bizarre things, so I slapped on the mud last night, let it dry, and then washed it off. Does my skin feel "softer and smoother, with imnproved tone and vitality"? Hmm, don't think so, but it made for some interesting photos...

Beware my power, Green Lantern's light!

This is why I need not fear that big girl's blouse, Thor!

New Spade-Men series has now begun!

S11 is now being shown at www.spade-men.com !!

Birthday girl!

Happy birthday to me missus!